


At least I'll keep his eyes in my life

by TheRaspberryPancake



Series: KuguShiba week 2021 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Gay Panic, KuguShiba Week 2021, Kuguri Naoyasu is very straight, M/M, Pining, Shibayama Yuuki has anxiety, Shibayama Yuuki is very gay, Weddings, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28365174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRaspberryPancake/pseuds/TheRaspberryPancake
Summary: Shibayama Yuuki had been in love with Naoyasu Kuguri ever since he first saw him at a high school volleyball tournament. Now, he's about to watch Naoyasu marry his little sister and there's nothing he can do about it.
Relationships: Kuguri Naoyasu/Shibayama Yuuki
Series: KuguShiba week 2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043985
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	At least I'll keep his eyes in my life

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did get the title from that one line in Satisfied from Hamilton. Anyway, the prompt I chose to use for day 3 of KuguShiba week was wedding but I put a small angsty, pining twist on it. Enjoy!

Shibayama Yuuki had met the love of his life during his first year of high school. It was before a volleyball match against Nohebi high – Kuroo and the captain of the other team, he was pretty sure his name was Daishou, had started shit talking each other right in front of the rest of the players, meaning that Shibayama was right there to see it. Of course, he wasn’t paying attention to what the two captains were saying. He was more focused on scanning the faces of the other team. Even though he spent all his time on the bench, it was a ritual of his to look over the over team and try to suss out who would be a big threat to Nekoma during the game. So, while Kuroo and Daishou were still arguing, he let his gaze wander from face to face.

He’d picked out a couple of people that, based off looks alone, he perceived to be potential issues, but no one had properly caught his eye let. And that’s when he saw him, Nohebi’s number 12. The boy caught his eye in a completely different way to anyone previous. The others had all been in a strategic way but this time it was in a gay panic kind of way. His gaze lingered on him for a moment too long and, in that moment, his heart had started to pound so hard he swore it would pop right out of his chest. The way his hair spiked out in all different directions, like Kuroo’s bed hair but more controlled, and the way he chewed on the corner of his lip nonchalantly, as if he didn’t even know he was doing it, made his face heat up like the sun was hiding in his cheeks. He didn’t know how long he’d been staring before he realised that the boy was staring back at him, those bluish-grey eyes piercing his soul and making his face turn a deep shade of tomato red before he quickly looked away. He’d never done well with eye contact, especially not with people who look like _that_.

And that was that. They had the match and Shibayama watched number 12 from the bench until he got subbed on, almost had a panic attack and started having to focus on the game more than he focused on the other team. Nekoma won. Of course they did! They’re a team known for their defence (which Shibayama definitely put a lot of holes in and mentally kicked himself for afterwards) and if the other team can’t score, they can’t win. Once it was over, Kuroo didn’t bother going to rub it in Daishou’s face which Shibayama didn’t mind but it also meant that he wouldn’t have another excuse to look at their number 12 again but that was ok, it was just a meaningless crush anyway.

~~~

Shibayama had expected that encounter to be a one-time thing, to never see Nohebi’s number 12 again, but when his second year rolled around, he discovered that that assumption was incorrect. It was the same situation once again; the two teams were going to face each other during the prelims for nationals. By this point in time, he’d basically forgotten about the boy’s existence but, when he saw his face again from across the court, he felt his heart flare up again, pounding against his rib cage. The boy, now sporting the number 6, looked just as good as he did the previous year and Shibayama liked it that way. They caught eyes for a brief second and looked away from each other once again. Those eyes… if he wasn’t so anxious, Shibayama could get lost in those eyes for years at a time…

Nekoma won the match, yet again. This year, the two teams were weaker but Nekoma had their ace, Yamamoto, and their genius setter, Kenma (who they were surprised hadn’t quit) who ultimately led them to victory. Shibayama, who was now the starting libero now Yaku had graduated, didn’t really care that they won. His mind was still almost entirely filled with images of Nohebi’s number 6. He’d split away from his team after they’d changed to get a drink from the vending machine. He wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings, daydreaming as he walked, and as he rounded the corner, he walked smack bang into someone. “Ah- I’m sorry.” He stumbled backwards away from them.

“Eh, it’s fine.” He looked up at the person and gasped. It was him – Nohebi’s number 6. He was staring down at him with those damn eyes, those dreamy eyes that he could stare into for years at a time and never get bored, not even a second. God, he was so gay for this man it was unreal. Wait, the other was still staring at him. It was like he was… examining him. Oh boy, way to get a taste of his own medicine. He’s used to being the examiner, not the examined! “You know, looking at you, I probably wouldn’t pin you as a volleyball player.”

The smaller one puffed up his cheeks on instinct. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He knew exactly what he meant. Look at him; he’s a short boy with spaghetti noodle arms with a body that looks like it would snap in half if the wind blew too hard. The only thing ‘volleyball player’ about him was his thighs and he really hoped that the other hadn’t noticed them as it made him really insecure when people commented on them for some reason.

The other shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, short stack.” Shibayama felt his face heat up again and he mumbled various different phrases, a very roundabout way of telling him not to call him that. The tall one chuckled, leaning against the wall and folding his arms. “I’m Naoyasu. Kuguri Naoyasu.”

Oh, so he does have a name after all _and_ Shibayama didn’t even have to get up the courage to ask him what it was. He smiled up at him. “Nice to meet you Naoyasu. I’m Yuuki Shibayama.” He leaned against the wall also, still looking up at him. “I was going to introduce myself last year but Kuroo kind of dragged the whole team away immediately.” He laughed sheepishly. “Sorry about that… you were really cool during the match though.”

A small smile tugged at the edges of Naoyasu’s lips. “Thanks. You’re not half bad yourself. You’re pretty damn good at receives.” Shibayama mumbled a thanks, getting flustered at the compliment. Then someone called Naoyasu’s name and he looked over his shoulder. It was their new captain Seguro. He sighed. “Well, I have to go. I’ll catch you around, yeah?” Shibayama nodded in agreement and Naoyasu smiled, turning and going back to his team.

Shibayama returned to his team as well, a dumb grin on his face. Did that seriously just happen? It seemed sort of surreal to him. The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes. That was all but, oh my god, those were two minutes that Shibayama would remember for the rest of his life. Naoyasu Kuguri... the name kept echoing around his head. That was the name of the love of his life.

~~~

Maika Shibayama was only a year younger than her older brother and, after graduating middle school, she enrolled at Nohebi high. Yuuki himself was pretty shocked at her decision but, all in all, he wasn’t too bothered by it. It was her decision what school she wanted to go to and if that school wasn’t Nekoma, like her older brother, that wasn’t his business. He wasn’t particularly worried about her either. Unlike him, she didn’t have crippling social anxiety so making friends should be an easy task for her. However, he was surprised by how long it took her to invite anyone from school over to the house. Apparently, her friends usually hung out at other people’s houses. She’d never told Yuuki the reason why but deep down he knew that it was because she was afraid of overwhelming him and boy did he feel guilty for inconveniencing his sister like that but it didn’t matter; if she was happy going to her friend’s houses instead of bringing them home, that was fine with him.

Actually, it had been over a year before anyone from school was even mentioned. Yuuki was in his third year by this point and she was in her second. They were sitting down to breakfast on a Tuesday morning, both eating their cereal in their different school uniforms, when she asked the question. “Hey Shibby?” Yuuki looked up at her, tilting his head slightly and taking a sip of his orange juice. He’d never understood why his sister called him Shibby, sure it was a nickname but using his last name was still weird, but it had stopped bothering him a couple of years ago. “Is it ok if I bring my boyfriend over after school?”

His eyes widened and he nearly spat out his orange juice. “B-Boyfriend?” He wasn’t aware that she had a boyfriend! The last person Maika had dated was some guy in her first year of middle school and it wasn’t anything serious, it was just so she could _say_ she had a boyfriend. Mind you, Yuuki himself had never been in a relationship so she was doing better than him.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah Shibby, my boyfriend. Can I bring him over or not?” It wasn’t to do anything dodgy; she just wanted her boyfriend to see her house. It was only fair. She’d been to his place many times before but, again, with her brother’s social anxiety, she had to check it was ok with him.

He sighed. “Ok fine… but I have questions.” Of course he had questions. He wouldn’t exactly consider himself to be a protective older brother, that wasn’t why he was asking. No, he was just interested in his little sister’s life. With a sigh from his sister and the confirmation that he could ask his questions, he started asking. “How did you meet him? Is he in your class?”

“Huh? No, he’s not in my class or even in my year.” Ok? Was he in the year above or below? Or was he even from Nohebi? Oh my god, she wasn’t dating someone who’d graduated, right? “Hey, stop worrying. It’s not a big deal, he’s the same age as you.” Well that calmed him down a fair bit and she kept talking. “You might know him actually, he’s the captain of our volleyball team. Have you guys played against us yet this year?” Yuuki shook his head. They’d played against Fukurodani in a practice match already, but they were still pretty early in the year, so they were yet to play Nohebi. He had a feeling they’d play them at some point though. “Oh… well, maybe you met him last year? Or the year before? Anyway, the captain of the cheer team is his best friend and she introduced me and the other girls to him. His name’s Kuguri Naoyasu.” She sighed happily. “He’s so dreamy Shibby, you don’t understand…”

He dropped his spoon back into the bowl, a clatter echoing around the room. “…Kuguri Naoyasu?” He recognised the name. That was the boy, Nohebi’s number 6 from last year, with the spiky hair and the eyes he could get lost in. Did he still like him? Who even knows? He hadn’t seen him for just under a year. All that he knew now was that his little sister was dating him. How long had they been together? Would it last? Part of him was proud that she managed to snag someone who looked like _that_ but the other part of him felt betrayed. He didn’t understand why he felt like that. It’s not like he told her about how he felt when he met him so how would she have known? Maybe it wasn’t a feeling of betrayal, maybe it was a feeling of jealousy. There was no point in feeling jealous. Naoyasu would never date him, even if he wasn’t currently dating his sister. He probably didn’t even like guys! No, he needed to stop being jealous. It wasn’t doing him any good.

~~~

They did last. They lasted for years after they graduated high school and, the whole time, Shibayama watched from the side-lines, supporting his sister through her relationship with the man he wanted so badly to be his. He never told a soul, not even his best friends, Lev and Inuoka, who he knew would never tell Maika or Kuguri about how he felt. If he’d told Maika he loved him, she’d leave him, he knew she would. She’d never purposefully hurt her brother and that’s why he could never tell her. Maika was happy with Kuguri and he wanted to keep her happy for as long as possible.

That’s how he ended up in this less than favourable situation. Maika Shibayama, soon to be Maika Naoyasu, looked beautiful on her wedding day. The pure white dress, the colour of snow, cascaded down her body, tight in all the right places and flared out at the bottom like a mermaid tail. Her hair was pulled back and tied in a bun with a string of white flowers, matching the dress, braided into it. The girl resembled an angel, it was impossible to argue that fact.

As he looked at his sister walking down the aisle, clutching the bouquet of roses close to her chest, Shibayama felt his heart swell with pride but, at the same time, an overbearing pang of jealousy. Why? Why was he feeling jealous? This was his little sister’s big day! He should be feeling nothing but pride, pride for her! No, he knew why he was feeling jealous. In a few moments, he’d lose the man that, against all odds, he still loved to none other than Maika, his own damn sister, and it stung. It stung so bad! But did he dare object to the marriage? No, he’d never do that and ruin their happiness… Sighing quietly, he looked down at his hands and whispered to himself.

“At least I’ll keep his eyes in my life…”


End file.
